Yesterday was spent exploring strange new (wet) places. Yes, I killed the wizrobe. Inelegantly, but all that matters is I killed it, and I'm getting better at killing electric like-likes. I made it to Hateno. I'm not sure how I forgot about the mushroom fashion people, but I am delighted to be here (and to buy milk, yum).
Crushed koroks: 1. I finally built a conveyance that actually works. I also went on a "wait where did I see milk before?" quest. (Turns out I didn't! Milk is in Hateno, which I haven't been to yet). So I'm headed in that general direction.
Yesterday's death was brought to us by an electric wizzrobe, which I assured my kid I could beat. Electric enemies do not have a particular weakness so I guess I'll just stab it a lot.
I found a kinda spooky grove or cemetery or something, picked mushrooms, and decided to putter around the village for a while. I also died 5 times biting off enemies too big for me to chew. I'd like to get to the point where I can fell large enemies in some clever way rather than simply chunking tons of bombs at them, but right now that's the strategy.
I finally got around to fusing an axe and confirmed you can kill those mutant trees in one or two swings (before this, I was burning them, which took some time, and hacking them with a sword takes forever). I ran out of arrows and decided to try out the boomerang. The boomerang is a work in progress. I fused a keese eyeball hoping it would help with aim but unfortunately it does not work that way. I was also reminded you can electrocute everything in a pond, so I'm going to experiment with electricity next.
I turned on damage numbers in VS. WITNESS ME.
This is the sequel to Cattails, which my kid spent a lot of time with. Wildwood is a "more of that" sequel with updated portraits and a strong emphasis on building the town and recruiting cats to join your colony. I caught many ladybugs.
I haven't played a game focused around recruitment in a while. The first example that popped into my head was Suikoden, but Terraria does this as well. So far, cats are recruited by collecting all the items on a list through gathering and hunting. Hunting involves a quick-time mini-game that is somewhat unintuitive due to how quickly the bar moves, but doable. That will probably change as the skill levels up.
I only played about 5 hours of the first game, and I'm not sure how much I'll play of this one. I appreciate this game exists and I do like cats, but ultimately that wasn't enough to keep me engaged the first time.
I said I was done with incremental games but I can't resist digging mechanics. Digseum is a short incremental game about digging up relics for a museum. Once it gets going digging is satisfying, and I appreciate the short loop.
Additionally, cheevos hunting in Vampire Survivors continues unabated. The pictured build is not great, I accidentally picked up a power when I was clicking through too fast, but you don't need much strategy to hit level 50 and unlock tarot cards.
Crushed koroks: 1, and this time I wasn't messing around. I'm now back to what I enjoy most in Zelda: running in grassy fields, picking mushrooms, and accidentally blowing myself up. (And a secret fourth thing: running from Gloom. This playthrough I seem to be encountering Gloom much more often than I'm used to.)
I found Kakariko village, where armor prices are sadly demoralizing considering at any given time I'm carrying about 200 rupees, each of which is hard-won. The plan was to hike down to the giant fairy near Dueling Peaks and get some much-needed upgrades for my armor, however...
The game's design issues are starting to get to me. The sage controls are tucked away on the key items screen, when they could have easily been included on the wheel instead of the arbitrary duplicate map button. Another attempt to build a vehicle resulted in a pathetic mess so bad I didn't even take a screenshot for lulz and I spent an unreasonable amount of time in a shrine trying to hit a plank of wood with a huge-ass bouncy ball. An unfortunate number of tasks require lining items up with a certain level of precision, a process which is usually fiddly even with the goop anchors to help.
Here's one of those opinions I warned you about. The modern Zelda games contain a lot of unnecessary tedium that can only be explained as Nintendo Being Like That. Control and gameplay issues that would have been noted within 30 minutes of testing persist through two flagship games, indicating they are intended features, and terrible-design-choices-that-serve-no-purpose-but-to-annoy-the-player are part of the overall design strategy.
Anyway, I'm not saying I hate modern Nintendo but I hate modern Nintendo and pirating Nintendo games is always morally correct. Have a fantastic holiday everyone.
Spent some time vibing in the Inlaid Library in Vampire Survivors. I'm currently unlocking the Arcana cards, experimenting with cursed items like Torrona's Box, and focusing on leveling up. Crown+Pentagram and Attractorb has been essential.
Crushed koroks: 1. I 👏 am 👏 tired 👏 of 👏 snow. I found a few things in Hebra but I am OUT until I gain hearts and stamina. Hate you Hebra. Hate you bear. Hate you moose. Hate you giant ass Talos thing that killed me in one hit.
Koroks crushed: 1 apparently. I discovered a very cool mushroom cave. Then I decided I was going to actually "play the game" and "finish a main quest" or whatever. I kind of hated it, not gonna lie. The ark is undeniably cool and bouncing on the trampoline ships is fun, but getting up there was a major pain in the ass.
My insistence on scrounging for every possible arrow paid off, because I sure used a lot of them. I also used most of my stock of fire fruit before I realized you can actually dive into the weak spots on the boss's back, which is a lot more fun than trying to hit them with arrows and would have saved me a lot of trouble. As it was, I broke the last one that way.
Getting rid of the blizzard monster removes all the ice from the Hebra area, so I look forward to traipsing around refilling my fire fruit stock and discovering secrets. It also grants Link the ability to borrow the Rito kid's gust ability, which should help a lot when I need an extra little boost.
Crushed koroks: 3. Yesterday was extremely productive. Most importantly, I learned 2 new things. 1. If you throw a Hylian pinecone into fire, it explodes. 2. If you strap a rocket to a shield, it's awesome.
I located the Gazette, which is another favorite side quest, not least of which because it rewards you with sticky armor, which in turn thwarts my ancient nemesis rain. This is where you learn Zelda is apparently running around Hyrule doing weird shit, which is something that ought to be investigated. I found more designer armor, including an awesome Rito helm.
I had a rather disturbing conversation with a young Rito who told me they stuff pillows with Rito feathers. This is sort of like a human stuffing a pillow with their own hair. I appreciate these are trying times but seriously. What the fuck.
I forgot to take screenshots yesterday, so this old man is all you'll get.
I won some new-to-me gliding armor and promptly smashed into the ground because I couldn't figure out how to use it. 👍
Something I forgot to screenshot is the giant fairy refusing to come out unless she can hear music. To convince her you have to recruit the travelling troubadours, which is one of my favorite quests primarily because of their reaction to my terrible driving.
I continued exploring the Hebra Mountains area. This process is made easier if you have at least one piece of cold-weather armor, which indeed I do, but having 20 portable cookpots is also helpful. Almost every NPC along the way name-drops Rito Village, just to make sure I don't get confused and forget where I'm supposed to be going. There are moose here, which are not to be trifled with.
Crushed koroks: 0. Yesterday was a mixed bag. I did not crush any koroks, and gloom popped up in a cave and nailed my ass. I tried to make a cart for a horse I stole, which was a uniquely frustrating experience. I came across the "find the plushies" mini quest, and found everything about it Nintendo Annoying.
On the plus side, I discovered new things, including the courage trial in the sky. I met an Amazon. I discovered time bombs, a fascinating bit of Zonai tech I never knew existed. I also uncovered a "we're sorry shrine," which is a shrine that is such a pain in the ass to get to they simply hand you the treasure in apology.
The game nudges you to the Lindor's Brow tower, which is surrounded by a moat and stacks of building supplies. I decided to make an actual quality bridge. As you can see, that did not happen, but it was good enough to get me to the tower. Also... shakala!
Koroks crushed: 1. Yesterday I got a heart upgrade and finally followed the game's gentle nudging NE. The first time I played I brazenly went off the beaten path and died muchly, so it's interesting to actually play the game as N intended and experience a logical gameplay progression.
There is a big chungus, as my kid would say, on the bridge out. I thought I would set him on fire, but alas, it was not meant to be. Being crushed by this fine fellow is instant death at five hearts, so when I revived I shot him in the face with a dazzle arrow and ran away, as one does.
New Serenne Stable is an introduction to all things horsey, including the game's weirdly corporate stable network, and there are always a few easy-to-catch painted ponies in the field nearby so I grabbed my first horesey yay. We also meet the eccentric beetle guy, and this area has the first of my very favorite OUTFIT SHRINES. Finally, we're getting to the Good Shit.
The geoglyph quest unlocks flashbacks of Zelda, who went back in time. Not a fan of time travel, but finding the geoglyphs is fun. Oh, and if you're curious, Impa doesn't like it when you try to jump over her with your horse.
Crushed koroks: 2. I was stressed out yesterday but Zelda made it better. I'd forgotten I really hate dandelion koroks, and unfortunately, they are not even the most annoying type of korok, but I got to crush 2 others with rocks.
I stumbled upon Impa's man Cado in NE Hyrule, which is not where I expected him. If you follow Purah's advice, you might meet him in the NW region on your way to Rito. He points you in the direction of the geoglyph questline, and we all love geoglphys. (Other games with geoglyphs: Illusion of Gaia and the Xevious shmup series! Check it out!)
I was crushing koroks, building embarrassing "boats," and minding my own damn business when gloom hands came up out of nowhere and grabbed my ass. I have groused about the enemy design in this game before, but gloom hands are yonic perfection and peak creepiness. A+ would get grabbed again.
Crushed koroks: 2. There's an area west of the castle that has a bunch of birds nests and some gold apples, so I climbed every tree (yes I am that player) in pursuit. It's the little things in this game that truly charm me. There's a section of the island where two crows collect shiny objects. There's also a Battle Talus in this area and WOW, I really fucking hated that! I got my 4-heart ass out of there as quickly as possible. There's also a chasm but I'm not sure why you'd go down there because it sucks. If this adventure sounds boring, it's not, and no one asked you.
As soon as I landed in the splash pool I snagged the glider and camera. Now I can engage in my favorite Zelda activities: exploring caves, collecting clothes, taking pictures of animals, and dropping rocks on koroks's heads.
There is a main plot to this game and it's okay, I guess, if you're into that. For me, the side quests are more interesting. But the main plot is that Zelda is gone! And you have to find her. But wait! There she is! What's going on? What's happening?! Purah points us in the direction of the regional newspaper which is actually not a bad strategy, and it is one of my favorite subplots. There are at least two rogue chefs spelunking in caves, and this also warrants investigation.
It's that time of year! Busting out a new game in TOTK, a game I have terrible opinions on (look forward to that... or don't!). This time, instead of mapping all the areas and then getting utterly confused regarding Where I Have Been, I'm gonna focus on one section at a time. I plowed through the tutorial area as quickly as possible, trying whatever stupid ideas came to me. The stupidest was fusing a bunch of mine carts together trying to bridge a gap in the rails (did not work). The second stupidest was fusing a bunch of trees together so I could climb up to an area I was clearly supposed to reach another way (worked, score!).
I also tried a new-to-me Genesis shmup, Arrow Flash. It's pretty mid and didn't hold my interest.
More fun with Twinkle Tale! Some compare it to Pocky and Rocky. I searched for similar games and fell down a wonderful rabbit hole of abandonware (as one does) but Pocky and Rocky is next on the list.
Well, my save on Dragon Warrior III got messed up and I didn't want to redo the stuff so after bouncing around a bit I played Twinkle Tale instead. It's a run and gun, and I'm terrible at it, but I don't care because witches.
I haven't played a JRPG in a while so I whipped out this bad boy and took a personality test. The game immediately pegged me as vain and idealistic, so we're off to a good start. Also, my dad died in a volcano. We'll see how it goes.
New-to-me untranslated witchy-themed scrolling vertical hybrid shooter Fray: Shugyo Hen is cute but unfortunately not very fun to play. You can shoot magic spells and jump, but movement is sluggish to the point it feels like playing in molasses.
Currently, my go-to vertical shooty witchy thing is Twinkle Tale for Genesis.
The Game Gear binge continues.
Played a bit more Halley Wars, but got bored of the underwhelming level design and boss design (or complete lack of--one level didn't even have a boss).
I was beefing up my Game Gear library when I discovered a shmup I've never played before. Halley Wars, which is a sequel to Halley's Comet, is a fairly utilitarian shmup with a twist. You are protecting Earth and various planets from Lord Halley's army, and any enemy or comet that passes you damages the planet. At 100% planetary damage is game over.
My beef? THE GAME NEVER TELLS YOU THIS. I had to do a search to figure out what the percentage even meant. Sega Retro has scans of the instruction manual, which tells the full story.
Graphically, it's not very compelling, but I enjoy this one for what it is and I'd like to play it more.
I also popped into the Game Gear version of Bubble Bobble. Very enjoyable port! I never play through this game (I beat it once on NES years ago and that was enough for me) but I do like to pop in and bubble a bit from time to time. It's one of those games I always snag a copy of to try on different systems.
I could have sworn one of the Parodius games let you play as Opa-opa, the hero of Fantasy Zone, but I couldn't remember which one (maybe I imagined it?). So I played Parodius Da on PC engine as the little octopus until I died and lost all my upgrades (BOO).
I cannot tell you how many times I rented the Tengen's Fantasy Zone for NES. I was terrible at it, but I didn't care. The lush fantasy world always drew me in. Gameplay wise, base destruction shmups are my least favorite, but Super Fantasy Zone may well be the most beautiful cute 'em up I've played and it's fun to fly around (or land, which is enabled by your ship sprouting legs). This series has an interesting weapons economy where you buy weapons that eventually decay, and the price increases each time you purchase it.
Several times a year I go on a game binge and I dump all the weird and wonderful things I find into my handheld and promptly forget about them, which leads to delightful discoveries later. I had no idea what to expect from Go! Go! Mile Smile. I certainly DID NOT expect a Pac-Man/Snake hybrid maze game.
Mile and Yard (actual names) are "pursing their dreams" when a fairy shows up and asks them to save a beautiful princess who was kidnapped by the demon HECTOR (motive unclear).
The player controls an egg that hatches into a row of chicks with a snake-style body. The "snake" can venture into the maze to collect gems, but to avoid enemies you must retreat to the original hatch point. The play control is a little fussy but the concept and colorful themed levels easily land this one on rotation. If you like Snake-inspired games, check out Gomola Speed.
Yesterday I just wanted to chill so I played a little Puzzli. This is a cute match-3 game about a boy and his cat engaging in a little reverse-fishing for reasons that are never adequately explained. I also like the sequel, Super Puzzli 2, which is caveman themed for some reason.
Finally, I decided to poke at my stack of SG-1000. That whole thing started because I realized the entire library was like 2.5MB??? And a lot of them look pretty good. Anyway I uh... I like Pippols? Not really sure what's going on there tbh. It's an automatic vertical scroller where you must navigate between rows to grab items and shoot enemies.
Batsugun is Grandpappy Bullet Hell and I have a little trouble with this one on my tiny retro screen but sometimes you just need to Iceman it. 🧊 There's a nice port on GOG.
An eclectic night. I really enjoy Mr. Do! and the Neo version, which was never ported elsewhere, is so visually fun and obviously made with love. The ball mechanic makes Mr.Do! slightly more compelling than similar games (another favorite: Digger by Windmill Software). This was the game that drove me to get arcade games working on my handheld.
Konami released four GB Collections in Japan and Europe. I'm partial to #2, which has Parodius and Frogger. This is honestly a great Parodius port, and while a lot of visual details are lost it's fun to play. The Frogger version here is just a solid, standard Frogger that looks wonderful on GBC. Frogger 2, not to be confused with Frogger 2: Swampy's Revenge, is... something else. It's a timed adventure puzzle game with gallows humor, and a stripped-down port of F2SR I play for Frogger + general weirdness. (I love Frogger, btw. You will see more Frogger.)
There are sections of the game that do not allow immediate backtracking, so I've had to re-do a few levels when I'd rather not. But this game continues to be stupidly cute and calling in your buddies for a kirby riot is very satisfying.
