Grindstone

Grindstone is a puzzle “battle” game by Capybara Games. This color-match puzzle thingy has been on my list for a while, mostly because of its enticingly weird aesthetic. I finally pulled the trigger and now battle Donut for Switch time (they are playing a lot of Minecraft and Ultimate Chicken Horse this summer).

You are a mountain climber type dude named Jorj who quests on Grindstone mountain to kill jerks, the color-coded inhabitants of this place, and find grindstones and random loot. Most jerks start out passive, happily bouncing on their assigned grid square, but some fly into a rage. Enraged jerks will attack you if you’re in their attack radius, so part of the strategy is chaining enemies while avoiding landing in a square that will deplete your HP.

Increasingly, Donut has observed the protagonists of our favorite video games are wrong and should be stopped. Case in point, the jerks are happily being their jerk selves, and are not bothering anyone. Jorj came into their territory on Grindstone mountain, where they were innocently bouncing on squares, and began attacking them. Of course, some jerks would be angered by this provocation–rightly so! What business do I have coming into their place, breaking all the crates, and taking all the grindstones? They are defending themselves, and their home, from a hostile invader who offers nothing nothing but resource theft and murder. It is Jorj who is wrong. I find it interesting, and unfortunately unsurprising, my nine-year-old has a more empathetic and sophisticated moral compass than almost all the adult Republicans I know.

Anyway, this is a fairly mindless puzzle type game with a fun artstyle and lots of bells and whistles in the form of challenges, bonuses, unlockable equipment, collectibles, and so on. Chaining is satisfying, and I’ve enjoyed picking my way through the levels trying to max all the collection goals (generally: unlock the next level, gain a crown, and open a chest). I don’t know if there’s much to say beyond you get into these types of games or you don’t, and my kid likes watching me play this one and will chime in to offer chaining suggestions, which is always a bonus.

The Switch port takes advantage of the touch screen, which is nice since my joycons are still borked (I bought a kit and took the joycons apart, but didn’t replace them, I think because I couldn’t get the screws out without risking stripping them, even after buying several different screwdrivers. Incidentally, I will NOT be buying Nintendo’s next console until I’m confident they didn’t intentionally ship faulty controllers. Fool me once.).

I went into this one assuming I would get bored of it sooner rather than later, because I figured difficulty would be primarily increased by having less blocks of color, or less chainable configurations, which means “less of the fun part.” In fact, difficulty is increased by having breakable barriers that require a certain level of chaining to break an dropping in mini-bosses that have more (sometimes way more) HP than the jerks. So I can see myself blowing through a few levels every night for a while.

I can’t imagine completing all 250+ levels like, ever, but I appreciate how thorough the game interrogates its premise.

I bailed on Grindstone at level 55. I played somewhere between 15 to 20 hours. I’ve 100% the levels as I worked my way along, but only got a fraction of the hats and extra stuff.

They do a good job of introducing new baddies and obstacles over time, but two things bug me.

1. I got bored of the 3 challenges (open the door, get the crown, unlock the chest). I wish they’d continued to change these up along with the baddies.
2. Sometimes, especially on the harder levels, you simply get stuck in a situation where there are no good moves. Possibly for a while. The game really drags when this happens.

I think I will eventually wander back to this one, and the core gameplay is so simple I should be able to pick it up where I’m at, but for now I’m grinded out.