What Did We Play Yesterday?

Full disclosure: my emulator shits the bed and crashes the game whenever I try to take TG16 pics, if it even lets me take one, but these games look pretty damn cool so I went all out.

Later in life I discovered I really enjoy pinball and began tunneling into the niche world of video game pinball stuff. There are lots of weird and wonderful games within this space, but one of the gold standards is the TurboGrafx-16 game Devil's Crush, which would be the inspiration for Demon's Tilt.

The TG-16 predecessor, Alien Crush, is visually cool, but it isn't as captivating as this one.

Compile released the final game in the series, Jaki Crush, for Super Famicom. Jaki Crush's lower table requires that you hold the flippers open to allow the ball to reach the second level. I don't like that aspect of the design, I feel like the ball should be able to go wherever while the flippers are at rest, but it does add some challenge for those who prefer it.

Finally, I guess gameology obligates me to mention the weird dragon pinball games born of the Crush series. Tengen ported Devil's Crush to Genesis and renamed it Dragon's Fury. I have no idea why they changed the title (probably because devils aren't allowed in some places), but it's a faithful and enjoyable port and honestly not all that weird.

They also released a sequel called Dragon's Revenge. Dragon's Revenge is super weird. It has lots of breasty women and for some reason, there are sound effects of a woman moaning. I dunno why a group of people sat down and decided this was The Plan but ok.

My retro handheld has become a wonderful outlet for pick up and play. This journal does not reflect the sheer volume of games I've been able to experience, I play so many games and promptly forget about them. Not because they aren't good, but because sometimes a game just needs to be an entertaining gamey thing for the 20 minutes you're playing it. There was a tiktok floating around in author circles by a whale reader (reads 20 books/mo) who basically said If your book gave your reader several hours escape from the hellscape of our reality, you understood the assignment, and I think about that a lot.

With a lot of these old shmups, the devs understood the assignment. They are pretty fun until you die or whatever, and even the average or middle ground ones are worth giving a spin if you emulate. I have played a lot of average shmups, so many they seamlessly blend together in the brain grapes. But Truxton... Truxton I like.

This Toaplan shooter actually gets some love in the rather prickly shmup community. It's your standard sci-fi shmup with good contrast (a must for my 67-year-old eyes). It is fun to play.... if you're playing the right port.

For some reason, I can't get anywhere in the TG-16 version of this game, but I really enjoy the Sega Genesis version. I went on a TG binge last year, played and discarded it as yet another too-hard-for-me-shooter and forgot all about it, then stumbled upon it again when I more recently went on my SG shmup binge, and dang if I don't like it this time. I am playing the arcade hack by fusaru and Dauntless, and the fact those patches even exist tells you where this one sits with the community.

It turns out Bitwave recently released a PC port and the most surprising thing about this is how many patches they've released. It seems they're taking the preservation and accessibility of Toaplan shooters seriously.

There is a Truxton 2 (Tatsujin Ou) which I thought was arcade-only, but in FACT it was released on a personal computer called the FM Towns as well. It's harder than this one and I could never get MAME emulation going on my handheld so (fart noise). I used to have a proper MAME frontend setup with a vertical monitor and everything but Things Happened so IDK if I'll ever get back around to that.

With Baldur's Gate 3, the player's task is clear: your mission is to play this game in the most fun way possible. Maybe you kill everyone. Maybe you try to kill no one. Maybe you reload after every failed dice roll. Maybe you take your failure lumps. The world of Faerûn is your oyster.

This post is an overview and not particularly spoilery.

I picked this game up at launch and put about 20 hours into act 1 with a rogue before I decided to reroll and play as a bard, in part because it seems I accidentally mucked up a few of the romance options, but also because I read that bard has some of the best one-liners and flexibility in conversations. My tiefling bard is virtually identical to my tiefling rogue Tav, except they are named Tavi and they go even harder.

The intro sequence goes a lot faster when you actually know how to play the game. It's a nice intro to the world, and I found the game is good about providing the books and letters I need to understand situations without a D&D refresher. For instance, at one part of the game you encounter gnolls and hyenas. Thanks to a book I found in that area, I immediately understood what I was getting into. (Also: ew.) Speaking of that, the game doesn't hold back on gore but it never feels particularly gratuitous.

The game offers multiple difficulty levels, including an explorer mode with easier combat. I don't play much CRPG but I adapted to the overhead view quickly. One thing that helps is there are dialogue cut scenes. I get to see my character interacting with others close-up. I don't mind having a voiceless protagonist, I think it works best this way for immersion. The player character has 8 incidental voices to choose from (comments uttered when unlocking chests and so forth), and that's plenty to add flavor.

What this game really has going for it is the characters. The companions are very enjoyable. Each has a nice spin on their class/characterization. I genuinely like them all and the VAs and writing really mesh.

So far, the game has been remarkably straightforward in terms of moral complexity and decisions. There are good guys and bad guys and you really don't have to scratch your head too much to figure out which is which, and this is probably best for a game that emphasizes player autonomy for roleplaying. There is a lot of bog-standard fantasy racism and the game lets you handle that however you like.

The beef some people have is the dice rolling. A lot of actions cut to an actual dice roll, and you can critical fail on some significant choices (my second playthrough, I rolled a 1 on a check of I think 2 when I attempted to recruit Shadowheart). Generally speaking, I don't save-scum, but I reloaded for that one (with mixed feelings, since I'm genuinely curious what would have happened if I'd stayed the course--few players will be in the position of trying to help Shadowheart but critically failing). The game provides options for rerolling, or you can simply load a previous save, but I usually try to accept failures in the spirit intended and embrace the unpredictability of the dice. Typically, in a situation like this the developers would weight the dice in the player's favor (if you don't weight probability toward the player, they will feel the game is unfair, to see this in practice read the comments left on Solitaire card game apps), and set up a mechanism to avoid too many failures in a row, but I've definitely had a few situations where I failed at every turn so IDK. Maybe it's "true" random.

My main issue right now is inventory management. At a minimum, books and letters should be stored in a codex, because there's a lot of literature to pick up and individually looking through the letters clogging up your inventory is cumbersome. There's a lot of STUFF to be looted that, as far as I can tell, has no real utility outside sale, so this time around I'm being more selective about my loot.

There are some cool mods out already, including dice skins, but nothing that improves the inventory. There is a mod to remove encumbrance, but I decided I was better off managing on the front end (and maybe being a little less of a hoarder, RIGHT?) than paging through tons of looted items whenever I needed to get something.

I have no idea why the Sega Game Gear Devilish ROM was in my possession, but imagine my surprise when I boldly clicked on that title and found myself facing a fantasy-themed timer-based Arkanoid.

A prince and princess were in love with each other until a jealous demon turned the happy couple into a set of stone paddles; resembling that of the pinball kind. Suddenly, a ball came into existence that could use the prince and princess in order to defeat the demons that now rule over the kingdom.

"This does seem like something I would download," I muttered to myself, as I knocked over demons like bowling pins.

The goal is to get the ball through all the demons and graves and whatnot within a set time. The worst thing about it is I honestly love the concept, but the physics are kinda stupid. It's really hard to get the ball to actually go where you want. I was alerted to the superior Devilish: The Next Possession, which released a year later on Mega Drive, and I said, "Hm, this also seems like something I would download."

Bluntly, a game has no right to be this cool while simultaneously being this difficult. Unlike the previous game, which gives you unlimited balls during a timed round, The Next Possession gives both a ball and a time limit.

Ufouria: The Saga is a charming NES/Famicom metroidvania that came to some prominence among collectors due to cartridge rarity. The game was originally released in Japan and (limited) Europe, and only became available in the US nearly 20 years later as part of the Wii's Virtual Catalog. As of this writing authentic PAL cartridges routinely sell for $129.99 on eBay and repros are available.

The main character, Bop-Louie, must find his friends and beat the shit out of them (because they're amnesiac) at which point they become controllable characters with unique powers that can be used to progress further. The player also discovers items like the password generator (early on, thankfully), map, and compass. Speaking of passwords. Remember that post on password systems that are a pain to record and input? Well.

Robert Hart has kindly created a Ufouria Password Decoder and Encoder, if one is so inclined.

I found this while seeking weird and cute titles with shorter playtimes and at 4 hours Ufouria handily passes muster. It's a fun little game and an example of early metroidvanias. I feel like the Ufouria philosophy, "I must fight you and win so you will remember we are friends," is a pragmatic one. Sometimes, one must defeat one's friends in battle to earn true loyalty and the use of their resources.

I don't know what I expected from Turbo Turtle Adventure, and since it's impossible to go back to a time where I was unaware of Turbo Turtle Adventure I cannot begin to speculate, but Turbo Turtle Adventure is what happens when you decide to cram the play control of Marble Madness into a puzzle game featuring a cute turtle that is as addictive as it is hellish.

The blurb actually does sum it up nicely:

Help Turbo Turtle win his freedom to once again swim the sea. Trapped on the 'Isle of Mazes' you must guide Turbo Turtle through deceitful labyrinths and nasty traps. Collect keys to unlock doorways, avoid the super magnets and utilize the turbo boost feature to try and beat your fastest time. This innovative title blends the basic balancing act of Super Monkey Ball with the mind-bending key-and-switch puzzles found in the Zelda games.

For some reason the blurb on HowLongToBeat has been shortened to, "GUIDE TURBO TURTLE THROUGH DECEITFUL LABYRINTHS AND NASTY TRAPS TO WIN HIS FREEDOM... TO ONCE AGAIN SWIM THE SEA," and I feel like volumes of pain and suffering are conveyed in those caps locks. To be clear: I am a shitty casual, I will always be a shitty casual, I will die a shitty casual, and I have never hidden this from any of you. I died I don't know, 12 times on Level 2. It doesn't matter. What matters is this game will take you to an extra-dimensional realm to teach you the ways of experimental masochism. Basically, it's Pinhead if Pinhead were a turtle.

I love Marble Madness even though I've never gotten past level 3 and repeatedly revisit it (the Game Boy version is my favorite). This game pulls at me in a similar way.

I have some arcade perennials I obsess over and one is FROGGER.

Now, I have played me some Frogger. In fact, just this week I had the pleasure of putting my grubby little (sanitized, I promise) hands on an classic cabinet (arcade Frogger is kinda fussy hit-box wise, so we won't speak of the score). My favorite version of Frogger is currently the 1991 Sega Game Gear prototype. Here's why:

Frogger is tasked with rescuing child frogs. Frogger can eat things with their tongue, including bug as well as (inexplicably) apples. Frogger can also consume ice cream cones. It's unclear why a frog would want to do this or what nourishment it provides. Saving the children is not enough, Frogger must collect them and then return home. And as you can see, by stage 2 the situation rapidly escalates, and there are crocodiles and tanks. It obviously wasn't properly bug tested, and in some ways it almost ends up being a bit of a puzzle game where you have to navigate inconsistent hitboxes and collision maps. It is cute as shit.

Why was it never released? Legal Reasons (tm) is probably the right guess. Evidently by 2000 everyone stopped suing everyone, and Frogger 2 on the Gameboy Color attempts to go in a similar, adventure-oriented direction, with a rather disturbing emphasis on avoiding vehicular collisions and Frogger's self-awareness of the likelihood of becoming road kill. Later games like Frogger's Adventure 2 take the adventure aspect even further. There are a LOT of Frogger adventure games and I'm honestly at a loss to explain why, and I say this as someone who really likes Frogger.

I still favor handheld ports of most games. There is a very serviceable arcade port on Gameboy Advance as part of the 2002 Konami Collector's Series: Arcade Advanced. It does all the things a Frogger should do, and you will probably die a lot so enjoy that (and Gyruss while you're at it, which is included).

Despite my enjoyment of the SGG prototype, I think this game truly shines when the emphasis is on the twitchier elements, which is why I really enjoy it's modern arcade cousins. Games like Crossy Road Arcade take directional controls entirely out of the equation and have the player focus only on timing forward momentum.

I've been messing around with older Legend of Zelda games and was delighted to discover BS The Legend of Zelda for Super Famicom, which was originally available via Stellaview. At first I thought this was a remake of LOZ with LTTP graphics, which was something I didn't realize I wanted until I thought I had it, but BS Zelda is actually more than that.

First I should explain the Stellaview because I'd never even heard of this thing before. The Stellaview was a satellite uplink unit that attached to the base of the SFC. The service broadcast three hours in the evenings. This chonky boi allowed users to download games, demos, cheats, etc. to a BS-X cassette (think Super Gameboy) that could also hold a memory cart. Some games couldn't be played outside broadcast time.

BS The Legend of Zelda was such a game. It was an expanded remake of the original with a time system that allowed different events to happen. Each map was only available to play for one hour once a week, so it had to be completed in one sitting. Map 1 included the first 3 dungons, and Map 2 contained the next 3, and these were broadcast at regular weekly intervals. There was also a Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past remix called The Legend of Zelda: Ancient Stone Tablets.

These BS games were never released as cartridges, so fans and hackers have worked to collect game data from memory carts and piece it together. The result is a full game called BS The Legend of Zelda - The Third Quest and BS The Legend of Zelda - The Fourth Quest, based on Map 1 and Map 2 respectively. In this version of the game the timer is disabled and you can play as either Zelda or Link.

I'm still digging into this stuff but IDK I just think it's neat.🥔